It was really neat discussing this subject in class this week. There is so much information, I'm not even sure where to start or what to include. (I'm also excited because I get a whole class on this subject next semester!)
I think one of the things that I've really learned is that the greatest way I can teach my children is by my example. I may tell them something, but if I don't follow my own rules and advice, then why would they follow it? How I am preparing now and the qualities I'm striving to develop will determine what I can teach them.
One need that everyone has is the need for contact/belonging. What happens when we don't fullfill this need for our children? What happens when we don't love them enough, or show them that we love them. They should feel like part of a loving family, one who accepts them no matter what. It's important to focus on the needs of children, not their behavior. Often bad behavior comes from an unfullfilled need. Make sure to also offer contact to children, and to teach them to contribute.
There is so much on this topic! I'm excited to study it more in-depth and I will be posting more of what I learn.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Work and the Family
I never realized that work could strengthen a family so much! In this situation, I'm not talking about work outside the home. I'm talking about when a family takes time to work together! Back in "the day" many families lived on farms. They spent all day together working on the farm. They all participated in working towards a common goal. This really drew families together!
Then then imagine how hard and different it was when dad had to start working outside of the home! (Eventually other family members would too). They had less time with each other- less time to strengthen their relationships.
So today I think that it is important that families take time not only to be together, but to work together! Have you ever noticed the bonding that comes when you work with someone else? It can create a very powerful bond with them. I think that by working together, families will be able to love each other more easily. The Spirit will be able to abide more often in that house.
Personally, I want to develop a greater love for working, and I want to pass this love onto my children! Working together in our families can have an incredible power in our lives! It will teach us to be proactive and to progress towards our goals. At the same time, we can help strengthen our family members and also be able to help them to reach their goals.
Then then imagine how hard and different it was when dad had to start working outside of the home! (Eventually other family members would too). They had less time with each other- less time to strengthen their relationships.
So today I think that it is important that families take time not only to be together, but to work together! Have you ever noticed the bonding that comes when you work with someone else? It can create a very powerful bond with them. I think that by working together, families will be able to love each other more easily. The Spirit will be able to abide more often in that house.
Personally, I want to develop a greater love for working, and I want to pass this love onto my children! Working together in our families can have an incredible power in our lives! It will teach us to be proactive and to progress towards our goals. At the same time, we can help strengthen our family members and also be able to help them to reach their goals.
Counseling in Families
Here's a quick though on counseling in your family. Every Thursday the 1st Presidency and the Quorem of the 12 meet in the temple. Part of their meeting includes: Expressing love and gratitude for each other; an opening prayer (they invite the Spirit in their prayer to be with them in their meeting); discussing to consensus and idea and making sure that it is the Lord's will; a closing prayer (notice they keep inviting the Spirit); eating chocolate (and sometime pie)! :) Now, imagine if we used this counseling process in our families? What would happen if, when we gathered to discuss something as a family, we were able to express our love for each other. We could invite the Spirit through prayer. We could listen to everyone's persepctive and come to a conclusion together (that is in line with the Lord's will) and then close by thanking the Lord. (Dessert is also a good thing!) I feel that these steps would really help to bring a family together. Especially through expressing love and appreciation as well as inviting the Spirit; this will also help to eliminate contention. It will increas love in the family! Parents will also be teaching their children wise ways to work out problems and find solutions.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Handling Abuse
Concerning abuse, we were discussing a very well-known therapist, Cloe Madanes, who specializes on dealing in this area. There are three steps she recommends that those who have been abused need to understand.
1. Evil is Always Stupid
Many victims struggle with trying to understand why someone would do something so bad to someone else. The main answer is that there really is no good reason for someone to commit such crimes. There is no logic behind it.
2. When a violation takes place, it always hurts your spirit.
Those who have been hurt need to understand that their worth has not been decreased because they have been violated. They are still valuable and precious people with much potential. They are still beloved children of God.
3. Help them understand that what happened is a very limited part of their life.
This does not and should not define their life! If it helps, they can even subtract the minutes they have been violated from how many minutes they have been alive. Help them to focus on the positives in their life and to be able to see the potential for so much more good!
This whole area is a hard and saddening topic. I am still learning more, but I appreciate what I have learned so far. There are many people who need help and could lead better lives if they just understood their value and how to continue in their lives.
1. Evil is Always Stupid
Many victims struggle with trying to understand why someone would do something so bad to someone else. The main answer is that there really is no good reason for someone to commit such crimes. There is no logic behind it.
2. When a violation takes place, it always hurts your spirit.
Those who have been hurt need to understand that their worth has not been decreased because they have been violated. They are still valuable and precious people with much potential. They are still beloved children of God.
3. Help them understand that what happened is a very limited part of their life.
This does not and should not define their life! If it helps, they can even subtract the minutes they have been violated from how many minutes they have been alive. Help them to focus on the positives in their life and to be able to see the potential for so much more good!
This whole area is a hard and saddening topic. I am still learning more, but I appreciate what I have learned so far. There are many people who need help and could lead better lives if they just understood their value and how to continue in their lives.
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